confusion and chaos

I am surrounded by confusion and chaos.  My brain is overwhelmed.  I am constantly on edge waiting for the next big storm.  I am screaming on the inside and smiling on the outside.  I am starving for affection.  I am annoyed by attention.  I am sexually deprived and sexually depraved.  I am tired but I can not sleep at night.  I am lonely but I want to be alone.  I feel ugly but want to be wanted.  I wish I could disappear but I want to be seen.  what is wrong with me?