I really thought I was gonna be getting married this year. I was mistaken. I was a fool. The worst part about it is that this time last year, I was doubting that decision. By the end of last year that decision was made for me. I know deep down it really is a blessing, but, it is still SO HARD to accept and grasp. I really don't like being alone. I don't like being almost 38 and never married. I feel like I will end up spending the rest of my life ALONE and recovering from an ongoing heartbreak by the same person. It never stops.
How incredibly idiotic is it that the one person who has hurt and abused me more than anyone in the world, is the one person I struggle to let go of? It is unbelievable that I am this stupid and messed up that I need this treatment. It is ridiculous. I deserve better than that. Don't I?
I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I need to rid my heart and soul of his madness. But once its gone, what will be left?
No comments:
Post a Comment